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Question 1: What advice would you give the newcomer regarding sponsorship?
Many people think they can make it on their own. Some can,
most can’t. The ones that have made it have advice that may
prove useful to you. If not advice then, at least, it can be comforting
to talk with a person that has been through much of what you are
going through and are still holding on. Sometimes they may be
able to just add a different perspective than yours. It’s kind of like
rowing a boat. If you only have one oar trying to keep the boat
going you will find yourself going in circles.
~Kevin R.
Finding a sponsor seemed like one of the most intimidating
things when I entered A.A. after alcohol rehab. However, I let it be
known that I was looking for a sponsor, and to my surprise I had
three different individuals offer to sponsor me temporarily. I would
suggest using the same method.
~Josh R.
Hello to all!! My name is Colleen and I have been sober just
over two years this time around. Sponsorship, oh man, sponsorship.
I couldn’t do it without a hard core, kickass, upfront, honest,
trustworthy, caring sponsor to unload on or just to talk to in time
of need. I failed to use my sponsor on a regular basis in my first
attempt to sobriety land. Guess what, I sooner or later failed to
use the fellowship altogether and found myself drinking shortly
after. When I finally landed in the alcohol rehab center it was a must that I
have a sponsor lined up before I left treatment. I found one that
had qualities and sobriety like I want someday. I am on my second
sponsor due to relocation of my first one. I do use both of them,
and know that I am never alone in times of need, frustration, or
just on a day when all things seem impossible. Get one, use them
and appreciate what they do for you! Blessings
~Colleen H.
Drug and alcohol was our crutch for a long time. You take
them away and you are left one-legged. A sponsor becomes
your other leg to show you how to walk the journey of recovery.
He will help you through the steps which will show you a
spiritual side of life.
~Mary B.
If you are willing to do whatever it takes to get well–-we
believe it is important to have another person designated to
coach you through the process of changing for the better--that
would be a sponsor. It just makes sense to use another successful
veteran of the disease to help you through some difficult times
that you may encounter.
~Jim O.
Finding a sponsor is one of the most important things to do
once you leave the alcohol rehab center. I waited about two months and
didn’t realize what I was missing until I found a sponsor. A sponsor
will lead you to new meetings, new faces and companionship in
recovery. This person should be someone with at least one year of
sobriety. Also, don’t hesitate to ask someone. If they can’t do it
they will help you find someone who can.
~Kimberly D.
I’m not the textbook case you may need for the question. I
know sponsorship is very very important, however, I went about
it in a different way. I tried to use an AA member with a lot of
years behind him, with no luck. As it turns out I had the perfect
sponsor in my brother, and an elderly friend. Without them, I
don’t feel like I could have completed this two years of sobriety.
For me, they were extremely supportive, and that’s what I needed
most.
~Dennis M.
Question 2: What was the most memorable apology you ever
made and what happened?
My most memorable apology that I ever had to make was
concerning my drug use. I am a nurse and for years and years I
misappropriated drugs from my work place. This was a place
that I worked in for 14 years. My co-workers and residents were
people that trusted me with their life. No one had a clue that I
was an addict. When I was caught stealing drugs and made a
decision to go for rehab, I had a lot of amends to make and
these were the hardest I had to do, but I got through it with the
help of my sponsor. Thank God for the program. I am still clean
and sober today and that was four years ago. Thanks for letting
me share.
~Pam
The most memorable apology I ever made would have been
to my husband. I never realized just how bad I had hurt him. It
was very emotional and humbling for me. He was gracious enough
to forgive me. When I asked him if there was anything I could do
to make it up to him, he responded by telling me that what I was
doing (going to alcohol rehab meetings, etc…) was a living amends to him and
our children. I felt such a relief to have him forgive me and
knowing what I was doing was more than enough. I try to go to
as many meetings as I can, usually no less than three a week. If I
can go to more I do. I always feel better after I go. But remember
not to get to complacent or you will be back out.
~Jeanie W.
The most memorable apology was to my wife and children.
There were many tears shed. But it was then that the healing
started to develop and our relationship began to flourish again. I
call it the grace of forgiveness.
~Jeff L.
In my drinking days, I had an abortion. I could not forgive
myself – in drunkenness or in sobriety. As an amends, I wrote a
letter to my unborn child and experienced God’s amazing healing
and forgiveness. I still have moments of grieving, but that is
normal with any loss. I remind myself that God has forgiven me
and I am not greater than God.
~Jane
Well all the amends I have made have had an impact on my
sobriety. However, learning to forgive myself and break the “selfhate”
cycle has lead to 26 months of serenity and peace.
~Greg C.
I apologized to my entire chain of command in the military. I
was still discharged for alcohol rehab failure (honorable). Their
rationale was that I was not honest on my original enlistment
contract that I was in recovery when I joined. I was sober in the
military for 10 years and relapsed; therefore, they believed I failed
rehab. However, I have been sober 13 years since that second
rehab so it was not a failure!
~Cindy B.
To my ex-wife and her family. They all forgave me and I have
been accepted back into their lives. But, it was emotional and
very hard to get in touch with them initially.
~William B.
We have a letter, called the Round Robin. It is sent from
family to family, and they tell what is new in their part of the
country, new births, deaths, etc... Shortly after I got out of
the alcohol rehab center, I wrote my own letter to the family asking for
forgiveness for my actions at my great uncles funeral and dinner.
The results were uncanning. I could feel their forgiveness in the
letters they wrote back, everyone to see.
~Cathy A.
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