Carry The Message
By Sam L.
Alcohol Rehab Centers:
I just wanted to drop you a line by way of greeting and
celebration. I was a resident at your alcohol rehab center January of
1996. I cannot recall my “number” at this point, but figured
you’d still have records of it based on the date. I believe I
was there Saturday, January 13th through the early part of
February for a total of 21 days, if my memory is correct.
My primary counselor was Ella Kogl. My address was in
Woodland Park, CO at the time.
In any case, the reason for celebration is my 15th year of
sobriety! And I got here with your help. Thank you! I
truly couldn’t have done it myself, as I tried several times
before I came into your care. You folks do great work and
should be proud of yourselves. Of course I’m proud of
myself for my accomplishment, but you are right there on
the front lines with new personalities every day. I’m glad
someone is there to do that tough job.
On the heels of this momentous occasion I also happened
to receive an offer for a new job the same week of my
anniversary, so am embarking on a new adventure with the
self confidence that only comes from knowing and trusting
oneself. This is my fist new job in 10 years, and is with an
exciting technology startup in my area. Perhaps the best
opportunity I’ve had in a 30+ year career in high tech.
If I could offer one piece of advice to the current set of
residents at the alcohol rehab center, it would be to listen carefully to the staff and counselors, and to allow them to help you. As I learned,
there is no problem that your can
fix; you get high, crash, wake up feeling like crap, and
now you’ve still got the original problem to deal with and
a hangover. That doesn’t help anything.
The Higher Power has a plan for everyone, even if it’s
just taking care of yourself and your family so you have a
decent life with minimal strife. It doesn’t sound like a lot,
but it is something many people don’t have. Those times
that you find your stress the highest, look at what you’re
doing; chances are you’re going against that plan. Truly,
examine and count your blessings. Think of how many
people in the world have it worse than you. The
opportunity to be healthy and at least try to be happy is
yours for the taking, and you are in the best possible place at the center
to get the tools you need to learn how to do it.
Finally, I have come to feel that despair saddens my
God at least as much as sin; it keeps his creatures from
enjoying the bountiful earth that he has provided for them.
It’s almost as if despair were the devil itself, which makes
sense if your Higher Power is a creature of light and hope.
And despair is often very closely linked to self-pity. Isn’t it
funny how much of it comes back to that?
Thank you Valley Hope and good luck to everyone there in
all your endeavors. Keep The Faith!
Another Inspiring Story
I was living in hell! My wife was
diagnosed with breast cancer. The stress
was tremendous and like I handled stress
for a good part of my life, I popped
another top.
Daily I worried about how long I’d be
able to wait until I had to go buy that
beer. Daily I worried about getting
caught drinking during working hours.
Daily I worried about a $10,000 DUI.
Daily I worried about the $4.20 a day I
was spending on beer.
I wasn’t drinking much, just 2-3 a day,
tall boys, 5.9% alcohol. And once in a
while would come the days where I might
drink as many as 5 and 5 of those really
left me soused. And then there was the
occasional weed smoking. I’d been
smoking weed for the better part of 42
yrs., and had joked often how I’d smoke
weed up to my last days.
So all this came to a crashing halt Dec.
13th of ’09. The details are negligible,
‘cept that I got sent to an alcohol rehab center full
of a bunch of damned drug addicts and
alcoholics! Some Christmas present!
And I lived in the Rockies at an altitude
of 10K’. All this at the time my wife
was having to go through chemo
treatments. The cancer center she was
going to for treatment was 52 miles away
on the other side of the Divide. She’s
an immigrant from a tropical island in
the western Pacific with no experience
driving in winter weather, much less on
mountain roads, while all the time taking
meds to combat anxiety and depression.
She had lost her older sister to cancer just
prior to arriving in the states in ’03. Yeah,
I dug a deep hole and hated everybody
and everything for my cursed life. Was
raised Catholic but God had deserted me
years ago so I had no room in my life for
him. Got beat by my old man until I
finally ran away from home. Served four
years in Vietnam and returned home to
a country that hated veterans. Life really
sucked! And finally I was forced into
Valley Hope Alchol Rehab. It couldn’t have gotten any
worse. All this I rationalized out….just
as good as the next alcoholic would
rationalize how horrible the world was
to her/him.
Fast forward 15 months.
I don’t spend much time looking in
that rearview mirror but some things I
can’t help but look back at…and will
continue to do so, for my own good.
Turns out that ’09 Christmas was one
of my best. I found out a lot about all
those addicts and alcoholics. In reality,
they are some pretty awesome people!
Common folk from all walks of life,
knowledgeable, intelligent, if not
brilliant…some damn near as smart as
me. Trouble with them, like it was with
me, is that their intelligence and reasoning
was impaired by the drugs and alcohol
that we all chose to try and mute our pain/
responsibility with.
Even to this day, while attending my
AA meetings, I quietly marvel at the
quality of people who sit with me in those
meetings.
And as for being deserted by God, my
HP, simply not so. Somebody kept me
alive and safe through all those binges and
drunks I’d made it through. And even
more important, while I was drying out
in Valley Hope and my wife was driving
back and forth across the Divide,
someone…God kept the skies clear and
held back the snow. I returned to my
wife January 19th and winter hit in full
fury. And after turning my back on God
for 30+ years, he even reopened the doors
of his house to me.
And there is more! I have met
tremendous friends, real friends, in Valley
Hope Alcohol Rehab as well as at my meetings. And
then there are my two
counselors, absolutely wonderful
people (two as I was blessed with
another counselor through Valley Hopes
AC/ESS online program).
Now I have the task and duty to stay
sober. A task? To be honest with you,
not at all. Oh, it was! But I now live in
comfort without my beer and weed. I
live in comfort in my skin. I live in
comfort knowing I have the support of
God and friends. And duty?
I owe it to myself, my wife, my
counselors, all my AA/NA friends who
have helped me through my sobriety.
And above all, I owe it to God for giving
me the strength to see the true value of
myself, to myself, as well as to all who I
meet and share this life with.
And as for all of you AA’s and NA’s that I have not met, I think of you often.
I pray for all of you both at meetings and
when at church, as well as the times you
all pass through my thoughts during the
day.
May your Higher Power help you as
mine has helped me.
A little thing that has helped me a
great deal, something I learned while at
VH, was; THY WILL BE DONE!
God help us all.
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