Lost and Found

My Story
Written by Roy F.

In all my life, I never dreamed that one day I'd end up in rehab for alcoholism. My mom and dad didn't drink. There was alcoholism on my mom's side of the family, but that was just because those people were "far from Jesus" and if they'd just get saved, their alcohol problem would be over. So I grew up with an extreme prejudice that alcoholics were just poor lost souls, for whom I should feel a mixture of sympathy and disgust. But somewhere between the ages of twenty-one and twenty-nine, it happened - I became one - an alcoholic.

I didn't start drinking till I was almost twenty-two. But it only took a few years before I'd had numerous wrecks, spent small fortunes on nights out and two DUIs and became severely depressed. Not only did I struggle with alcoholism, but I also struggled with the fact that I was gay, that my family would never accept me and that I was also HIV-positive. All of the problems I had made my drinking feel justified, for who wouldn't drink with a life like mine?

Toward the end of my drinking career, I didn?t know who I was or how to get any better. Each day was just an exercise in misery. And I was pretty much resigned to dying a hopeless drunk. I felt like that though God still loved me, He had just given up.
Early one Monday morning, however, I drunk dialed Cushing Valley Hope. And the rest is history. I checked in on May 11th and spent the most glorious twenty-eight days of my life there! As the Big Book promises, God did for me what I could not do for myself - through Brad, Steve, Phil, the nurses, chaplains, counselors, other staff, and especially the patients. They all helped put me back together and loved me when I didn?t know how to love myself. I made more friends in my twenty-eight days there than in my twenty-nine years on this earth.

It's not often that we are given second chances in this life, and I feel it is my duty to make the best life possible for myself. As long as I stay humble and carry the message, there's no limit to what I can do or who I can touch.

By: Roy F.