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Friends In Recovery Answered
Question 1. How has your life improved?
I’ve only been sober for 43 days, so this is pretty basic. My
program is very simple; I get up every morning and ask God
for help today, because that’s what I was told to do to stay
sober. I go to a drug addiction treatment meeting each day and call others in AA,
because that’s what I was told to do to stay sober. I call my
family every day to tell them how I’m doing and where I’m
going, because that’s what I was told to do to stay sober. I eat
decent, relatively healthy meals (chocolate is a food group all
in its own) because that’s what I was told to do to stay sober.
I read the Big Book and the 24 Hour Book, because that’s what
I was told to do to stay sober. Every night I thank God for
helping me, because that’s what I was told to do to stay sober.
So far, everything I was told to do keeps me sober. When I’m
sober, it’s absolutely amazing how much I enjoy doing and
experiencing these and other simple things.
~Margaret W.
I was in Chandler Valley Hope in May of 2006, in the middle
of a nasty divorce and trying not to lose my children. Today
I am a Junior at the University, own my home, and have more
than 60% custody of my children. Life still gets hard, but it
never stays that way. Occasionally I want to crawl under a
rock and hide, but that feeling passes fairly quickly. I’ve had
some rough patches; break-ups, family and friend drama, and
the like, but I’ve never failed to remember that I am okay.
Everything has been done okay for a long time now, and it’s
just getting better every day. I am still involved in the fellowship
and I still keep in contact with friends in drug addiction recovery. But mostly
I never forget where I was and what I don’t want to go back
to. My life is an adventure, and some days I lose, but I
always see the lesson therefore the learning.
~AnnaLisa U.
In March of 2003, I had sunk to an all time low in mental
and physical health. My diet was basically alcohol with
some snacking. I am 6’3” and my weight had dropped to
118 lbs. One night I had a neighbor take me to St. Francis
Hospital ER because I felt like my body was shutting down.
I was kept at St. Francis until I was stable and then transferred
to Laureate for more detox treatment. Much to my surprise and fear, I
was released as soon as they felt I was not a suicide risk. I
knew if I went home at that point I would fail. While I was
waiting for my friend to pick me up I heard a patient talking
about Valley Hope. I made a few calls and had my friend
drive me to Cushing, Oklahoma. That decision likely saved
my life. Barry, my counselor, and the rest of the amazing
staff, taught me how to kick the addiction and become a
whole, self respecting person again. I knew the key to success
after leaving the drug addiction treatment program was to avoid any boredom and
loneliness while keeping my faith in God. If I wasn’t working
or sleeping, I was at an AA meeting or busy with something
constructive. It has now been seven years since my last drink
and I’m living a happy, successful life. Not a day goes by
that I don’t count my blessings and thank God for Valley
Hope along with the loving people in my life. There was a
point that I believed nobody cared about me; but I learned
there are always those who really do care, you just have to
give them a chance to help you.
~Martin P.
I got clean and sober in July of 2005 at Atchison Valley
Hope. I was 38 years old with 2 toddlers at home and 2
children in high school. My relationship with alcohol began
when I was in high school and I chose not to go to college (or
better put, I chose alcohol over college.) I thought it would be
a waste of time to spend 4 years in college when I could be
working and earning money. I loved helping my kids with
homework but the older they got, the less I could help. I felt
inadequate as a parent and my self-esteem took a nose dive.
I’m sure that affected them greatly because I quit helping them
with homework altogether. I kept those feelings to myself,
which made it seem as if I didn’t care for them. Such is the
family illness in one tiny aspect. Since my recovery in 2005,
I began taking college classes and will soon have a degree as
a drug addiction treatment counselor. I’m very active in AA and speak
anytime and anywhere I’m asked to. I joined a church and
stay very active there as well. My two older kids are in college
and it’s given us much to talk about. It’s been wonderful to
be able to relate to them on this level. It’s opened many doors
in our relationship that would never have even been knocked
on. The desire for alcohol and drugs has been completely
replaced with new desires. My two younger kids have never
seen their mother under the influence of any mind altering
substance and for that I am grateful. Today it is, thanks to
the God of my understanding, AA, and the understanding
counselors at Valley Hope. One day at a time.
~Tami F.
In the little over 30 years I have been sober, it’s hard to figure
out where to start in telling how my life has gotten better. I
went back to college and got my M.Ed. in Counseling
Psychology. I have become very involved in both my
community and church. In the earlier years I was very
involved in service work also. Today, overall, I’m happy and
I have a peace that surpasses all understanding and I really
enjoy life. Today, there aren’t enough hours in the day to do
everything I want to do. I have a freedom of choice which I
never had before getting drug addiction treatment. Today, I’m free to experience
life on life’s terms. Most importantly I have come to know
God and I am able to live his will for my life today without
much complaining. I’m so grateful for Valley Hope and the
AA program. They gave me my lift back and a chance to know
me as well as the desire to stay sober and be a part of the
world around me.
~Dee O.
Question 2. How do you enjoy all the summertime fun while
staying sober amidst others who are not?
I’m blessed to be in a community where recovery and fellowship
are strong. Most of the time I’m able to take part in summer
and outdoor functions with other people in recovery. My
“normie” friends are very supportive of my recovery, but I
always take the initiative to make sure I have non-alcoholic
refreshments whenever we head outdoors. In addition, if I go
out with my “normie” friends, I take another addict/alcoholic
with me –OR- I have someone in the program “on-call” who is
always willing to text, call or show up where I am to support
me.
~Ellen H.
I usually don’t spend much time with drinking folks. I’m
much better off in my time spent with other’s in recovery. We
always have a lot of fun without drugs or alcohol. If it’s a
family activity with alcohol around, I don’t stay long and
usually always have a sober person with me. In the summer
months, there are always a lot of AA functions also. Most
people respect my sobriety and don’t indulge when I’m around.
Grab another sober person and do what you like, just stay
away from the drinking activities! People, places and things
(Valley Hope's drug addiction treatment embedded that in my brain.)
~Jane S.
It’s my drunken friends that remind me of how people can’t
control themselves and lose grace and poise when drinking.
Drunken people are not pretty, and I like having control over
my words and actions. One of my favorite reminders is “a
drunk woman is NEVER attractive.” Thank you Valley Hope
for helping me stay sober for 14 years!
~Sonja S.
I start by setting boundaries as early as possible. In family gettogethers,
they are all aware of my history and respect my
wishes to not have any alcohol around. However, there are
other times when this is not the case and there are those who
choose to drink. In these situations, it comes back to me
making the right choice for me and where I’m at in my program.
It depends heavily on how well I’ve been working my program.
When I’m working the steps, these situations don’t usually
bother me. From past experience, I know that if I wasn’t
working them I’m bound to be in a more complicated and
dangerous situation. If possible, let them know that you are
in recovery and you prefer not to drink but are instead there
to have fun. With this out of the way, everyone will have a
better time. Never forget that recovery is about having fun!
~Jared L.
Every day is “a day at the lake” at our house, because we live
on the lake! My children grew up fishing, ice skating and
swimming in the lake. I especially like the “preparing the
food” part. Living at the lake full time always brought about
lots of entertaining and partying. I focused my energy on
food preparation as I still do today. our friends and family
always wanted to come to our house because of the fabulous
food!
~Patti Y.
For me it was really hard around summer lake BBQ’s, holidays
and cookouts. I didn’t go to the first 4th of July family lake
get-together, I knew that alcohol would be everywhere at the
lake. As time goes by and you get stronger, it gets easier to be
around these settings; but not right after drug addiction treatment or early
sobriety, too much of a risk for that. I found out there is tons
of other ways to have fun at the lake without drinking. Ice
cold tea is a great beverage for lake time.
~Sam C.
Since I’ve been sober I’ve found gardening and yard work to
be very therapeutic. I take great pride in keeping the yard
up. It’s never perfect, but it gets me outdoors and appreciative
of the beauty all around. I have also enjoyed tending to my
small herb garden and tomato plants each summer. As I
witness the growth from a small seed into a productive plant,
I’m reminded of God’s gifts to us all. I’m so thankful to be
given another chance to flourish, grow and be productive.
My “seed” was God’s love in all the people at Valley Hope.
May we continue to plant, grow and live to share!
~Kim V.
When I got sober I had to surrender to the fact I was not
going to be able to drink or drug again. I have to repeat this
as needed to maintain my serenity. It took a year or so before
I could mingle in with the drinking crowd during family
outings or party’s with friends who still drink. I never imagined
fishing without beer! I discovered it was the outdoors and
nature that I loved and not just another excuse to go out and
drink. Even after five years of sobriety, when I get
uncomfortable around people who drink I leave the activity
regardless of what it is. This is seldom since I association
myself with non-drinkers or people in AA.
~Jeff L.
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