Negotiations of Our Human Needs
By Raymond E. Colligan
Drug Addiction Treatment:
Along time ago I was introduced to a new idea about relationships. Relationship is bigger than the two people
that are together. Using a math formula 1 plus 1 does not equal two. The relationship is bigger than the two
of us. If you have the fortune to have children you can point at them and see and say, you got that one right!”
If we add drug addiction to the mix of the relationship,
then the statement that addiction is a family disease makes sense. Everyone in the family is affected.
My belief is that everyone gets injured by the disease. Or put in another way, everyone gets lost.
The addicted person is lost in the chemicals and the significant
people in the relationship with them lose themselves in their focus on the dependent person. The primary effect
is the breakdown in our ability to help each other get our needs met.
In a very primary way a renegotiation of the relationship must begin if a relationship is to survive and grow.
Each person must focus on themselves to identify what it is that they need. The drug addicted person must
identify what they need to put recovery in their very life. The family member must find the ability to focus on
themselves. Feelings and what a person needs or desires must be learned to be talked about again.
I found William Glasser’s approach to our human needs practical and helpful as a way for those newly in drug addiction
treatment to begin to talk and to renegotiate the relationship. He would say we are driven by five human needs, Survival
(in our culture, Money) Love and Belonging, Freedom, Power, and Fun. Each of us varies in the amount of each of
these. Our negotiations begin in figuring out what our individual needs are. What exactly trips my own trigger!
(DNA) A simple place to begin is to make some guesses on a scale of one to five on each of the five human needs.
Then share your results with each other. If you are two or more apart in any given category this will be the
area(s) where negotiations will need to occur.
I found William Glasser’s approach to our human needs practical and helpful as a way for those newly in drug addiction
treatment to begin to talk and to renegotiate the relationship. He would say we are driven by five human needs, Survival
(in our culture, Money) Love and Belonging, Freedom, Power, and Fun. Each of us varies in the amount of each of
these. Our negotiations begin in figuring out what our individual needs are. What exactly trips my own trigger!
(DNA) A simple place to begin is to make some guesses on a scale of one to five on each of the five human needs.
Then share your results with each other. If you are two or more apart in any given category this will be the
area(s) where negotiations will need to occur.
Our Mission is to provide a quality continuum of
comprehensive drug addiction treatment and related services,
in a caring atmosphere and at a reasonable price, for all people experiencing problems with alcohol or other
drug use.
The purpose of providing those treatment services is to improve the quality of life of those
receiving services as measured by abstinence from alcohol and other substances, as well as by increased life
satisfaction, improved family relationships, marital stability, job and career performance and financial stability.
This Mission may be pursued in any geographic location, limited only by need and Valley Hope's ability to respond
to that need.
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