Spotlight on the 12 Steps, 8-9
By Chaplain Paul Reedy
Drug Rehab Centers:
Following Steps 4-7, a searching
and fearless moral inventory of
ourselves continues as we look at
“Amends.” One must realize by this
time in their drug rehab process, which
they are fully engaged in taking
responsibility for the wreckage they
have brought upon themselves and
others through the actions and by
their choices they chose to take. It is
now time for them to take full
responsibility by making yet another
“list” of those they had harmed and
become willing to make direct amends
if possible to them. With one
exception to the rule which is if it
would do more harm then good to
themselves or others. Remember
recovery is not for making excuses for
one’s behavior, just the opposite. In
his book, Walk through the Valley, Doc
Leopold states “People really do need
people.” People can and do recover
and return to a solid base to live out
their life’s journey.
Let us glance back in our own
minds and “clean house,” “sweep our
own side of the street.” Take our
burdens, issues to the altar, then
according to a simple truth go make
things right. Once we have our
relationship right with the God of our
understanding, then it is required of
us to get right with others.
Remembering, we are not asking
them to get right with us for any
wrongs we feel they have done against
us; on the contrary, we are the ones
making amends for the wrongs we did
to them.
The 12 Promises start off by stating
“If we are painstaking about the
phrase of our development, we will be
amazed before we are half way
through.” Think about this statement
“we look back to move forward.” We
each understand that taking the latter
Steps 1-7 has in fact set us up to
continue to succeed in our recovery
to self, spirituality and others. People
really do need people.
Taking responsibility for our own
actions keeps us honest and focused on
our own drug rehabilitation, not others. “I can choose
to change, I can choose to influence, I
can’t change you.” The Big Book list
Steps 8-9 in Chapter 6, “Into Action.”
Here are simple principles to keep
recovery working and not fall back
into resentments or regrets. Step 8 is
asking, not requiring, for us to take a
responsible inventory of those we had
harmed while acting out of our
self-centerdness. Step 9 is asking, not
requiring, for us to put others first so
as to continue in the right recovery
relationship. Making amends the Big
Book states “a sincere desire to set right
the wrong.”
So how is any of this possible? I
have confessed to myself, God and
another human being the exact nature
of my wrong. I’m feeling good within
self and now I’m given the task to “set
things right?” Here would be a good
place to say the Serenity Prayer: “God,
grant me the serenity to accept the
things I can not change, The courage
to change the things I can and the
wisdom to know the difference.” If
we truly want to be happy, joyous and
free, we will do the next
right thing. We will not regret the past
nor wish to shut the door on it. We
will comprehend the word serenity
and we will know peace. To make the
list fresh in our recovery will grow
cold, unless followed through
immediately and as quickly as
possible. Sometimes amends can’t be
made face to face. Letters, phone calls
or if that person is deceased, we might
write them a letter and tie it to a
balloon and send it to the heavens.
One might be able to set right the
wrong by talking to another family
member or others involved with those
we need to make amends to. Whatever
the method, we must do it for sobriety
sake!
Not all amends are relationship
related. Making amends is not the time
for you to get “even” by placing blame
on others behaviors. This is about you
and you alone for your rehabilitation to
succeed. Setting the wrongs right might
be difficult, however seek advice from
your sponsor, clergy or others. You will
know what the next right thing is to
do, just do it with a sincere heart so you
too can “sleep on a windy night” once
again.
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