Spotlight on the 12 Steps
Steps 10-12 By Chaplain Scott Ehrlich
Drug Rehabilitation:
In the early days of my sobriety I
didn’t think very well. There was no
way I could handle 12 of anything,
let alone the 12 Steps of Recovery, so
my sponsor broke them down into
what he called, “bite-sized bits.” Steps
1-3, he said, are the “attitude steps.”
Here is where I change my mind about
myself and my place in the universe –
where I quit being my own Higher
Power. Steps 4-9, he said, are the
“action steps.” Here is where what I
think begins to make a difference in
what I do--where I begin to live
differently than I did when I was
caught in the sewer of my disease.
Steps 10-12, he said, are the
“continuing action steps.” This is
where recovery becomes a way of life.
That being said, the focus of this
article is on the “continuing action”
that Steps 10, 11 and 12 call us to;
and how these steps can literally
change the course of our history. Let’s
examine them individually and see
what they mean to us as recovering
people:
Step 10: We continued to take
personal inventory, and, when we were
wrong, promptly admitted it.
I absolutely hated this step when I
first encountered it. You see, when I
was drinking and drugging, I was never
wrong--at least that I’d admit! And
now here I was confronted with the
daunting task of continuing to work
Step 4 (a step, by the way, that I had
spent the first 40 years of my life
desperately trying NOT to do) and Step
5! What I learned from my sponsor,
however, is that when taking and
sharing a personal inventory becomes
a regular, (and, for me early in recovery,
a daily) exercise, it becomes
manageable, and, after a while, even
enjoyable; because I get to practice the
rigorous honesty my program requires.
Now, I want to editorialize here just a
bit. Although I think it’s important for
me to consider my “wrongs” on a daily
basis, and to admit them; I also think
Step 10 is about a daily consideration
of my “rights.” You see, recovery isn’t
just about discovering our mistakes and
trying to correct them; it’s about
discovering what we’ve done well and
celebrating it. If all I get to do in Step
10 is focus on the negative, I might just
start drinking or drugging again; but
when I understand Step 10 as an
opportunity to celebrate the good in my
life and character, that gives me impetus
to “keep on keeping on” in recovery.
Step 11: We sought through prayer
and meditation to improve our conscious
contact with God as we understood Him,
praying only for knowledge of His will
for us and the power to carry that out.
“Conscious contact” is one of those
things most of us don’t do very well.
It’s as if, at the conclusion of a wedding,
the pastor says, “I now pronounce you
husband and wife. You may ignore the
bride.” I hope you all know that a
marriage doesn’t end when the wedding
concludes--it begins; and the rest of the
time we spend in that marriage, we
spend it trying to improve our
conscious contact with our mate! I
can’t tell you the number of young
couples I’ve counseled as a pastor
where usually, but not always, the
wife will say, “My spouse just doesn’t
appreciate me! We never talk
anymore!” Conscious contact is a
matter of utmost importance, and it
centers on the issue of
communication--of talking and
listening in a way that allows us to
share and to learn. As it is in
marriage, so it is in recovery. If we
don’t work this step on a regular basis,
our relationship with God begins to
deteriorate, and the danger of relapse
multiplies. So, how do we
communicate with God? We talk and
we listen. We pray and we meditate.
Prayer is what happens when I talk
with the understanding that God is
listening to me (think about THAT
for a minute!) If you don’t think you
know how to pray, there are a lot of
prayers in the Big Book you can use
for starters; but there really isn’t any
“right” way to pray. Just talk. Share.
Open up!
Meditation is what happens when
I listen with the understanding that
God is talking to me (think about
THAT for a minute!) Meditation is
the opposite of worry. When I worry,
I focus on the problem; when I
meditate, I focus on the solution. I
can meditate by reading any of the
myriad of books written by and for
recovering people (One Day at a Time,
Just for Today, and 24 Hours a Day, just
to name a few), or I can read the books
my religion espouses (the Bible or the
Koran, for example). But listening
implies action. If my mom tells me to
mow the lawn and I don’t do it, I may
have heard her, but I didn’t really listen
to her. Meditation implies willingness
to do what I’m told. Reading the
directions is one thing; following the
directions is something else. And
following the directions is what leads
directly to the promise found in step
12. Do you see it?
Step 12: Having had a spiritual
awakening as a result of these steps, we
tried to carry this message to other
alcoholics (and addicts), and to practice
these principles in all our affairs.
A lot of people think they have to
experience a “spiritual awakening”
before they can work Step 3, but the
promise of a new spirituality actually
comes in Step 12--as a direct result of
working the previous 11 Steps. I believe
it is a spiritual law that understanding
always follows obedience. We don’t say,
“Keep coming back, it works if you
understand it.” We say, “Keep coming
back, it works if you work it.” For me,
“carrying the message” is simply living
a recovering lifestyle, 24 hours a day,
one day at a time. My sponsor told me
more than once, “You may be the only
Big Book some alcoholics ever read.” The
way I carry the message is to practice
the principles of honesty, openmindedness
and willingness in all my
affairs. The evangelist Billy Graham
once said, “Too many people spend
Saturday night sowing wild oats and
then spend all day Sunday praying
for a crop failure.” True sobriety is
measured in the way I behave when I
don’t think anybody is looking.
So, that’s my take on these
“continuing action” steps. Working
these steps day after day, one day at a
time, has brought me the kind of peace
I thought was only available to others:
In them I have found the serenity,
courage and wisdom for which I prayed
so long. This is my wish for you.
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