Spotlight on the 12 Steps, Steps 7-9
By Chaplain Drea Walker-Skye, MA., M. Div, LPC
Substance Abuse Treatment:
We put such emphasis here at
Valley Hope
on covering Steps 1 through 3
thoroughly, and then building up to doing
Steps 4 and 5
as fully and deeply as possible. Sometimes I
think we do neglect the later steps. When I’m teaching
about the steps to patients and families, I talk about the
middle 6 steps as ‘the working steps’. I describe them in
pairs, where the even numbered step is the thinking step
and the odd numbered one is the action step. So the pattern
is: think, do; think, do; think, do. Step 7 then, is the ‘do’
step to Step 6. In 6 we become willing, and in 7 we finally,
humbly ask God to remove our defects of character. We’ve
outlined those in Step 4, confessed them in Step 5, discussed
their ongoing anticipated effect on our treatment in Step 6
and then, in Step 7, we finally get around to letting God do
what only God can do --remove them. Only God knows which
ones need removing (or are removable) and which ones we
will need to keep working on. We’re still human--we don’t get
issued halos and wings at this point in sobriety. That’s part
of the humility of Step 7--we don’t get to get rid of all our
defects. Some will linger, to keep us humble, and because,
I’m convinced, underneath every defect of character there
is some kind of blessing. Think about it: the flip side of
selfishness is learning good boundaries of self care;
underneath the defect of blaming others is the asset of
accepting personal responsibility; underneath the defect of
resentment is recognition of both our own limitations and
those of others, giving us permission to be human. If we
lose our defects, we never find our assets, so there will always
be defects God refuses to take away.
To my way of thinking, it is recognition of our continued
defects, and the search for assets, that begins our Step 8
work. Eight is another ‘think’ step, requiring us to look
back and then look forward, to what we’ve done and what
we need to do to ‘undo’ the consequences of our actions,
or in other words, clean up our messes. But because we’ve
still got those defects of character, we need to be aware of
them so we don’t go create more messes. So on Step 8, I
tell substance abuse patients to start with amends to themselves by looking
at those shortcomings from Step 7. What do they need to
be surrendering to God daily? How will this awareness help
them work their treatment program?
Is this an issue they need to be
covering with their sponsor, or with a professional counselor?
Next they need to consider amends to their Higher Power.
What are they going to do for their spiritual aftercare?
Continue or repeat their steps with a sponsor? Use a daily
devotional like “24 Hours a Day” or “Daily Reflections?”
Commit to attend an Step 11 meeting each week to work
on their spirituality? Or find a church/temple/synagogue
that helps them grow in their chosen faith? Only after all
that do they need to begin to consider who else they owe
amends to, why and what they want to do as an amend,
for Step 9.
I freely admit, amends are either the easiest thing to
do, popping off my tongue quickly, or the hardest thing to
do, squeezing out between clenched teeth of resistance.
I’m human, with my own flaws (Come on, you know that,
and it’s not just me, just think about your chaplain or the
ones you work with in substance abuse treatment--we know ourselves as evidence of
“progress NOT perfection”). I don’t like admitting my
own mistakes. I can handle the small things easily,
especially if I’ve offended someone accidentally and they
let me know about it right away. That kind of apology/
amend is easy. But the bigger amends are much more than
an apology. I was taught what makes an amend different
than an apology is, an apology is words with a change in
action promised, whereas an amend is changed action
followed by words of report. In a good amend, I’ve already
got something to show that I’m different. At the very least,
I’m (hopefully) now working a substance abuse treatment program of recovery, I have
gone to treatment, I am going to meetings, have or am
working steps, and most important, I have admitted my
powerlessness and the need for help (whether that’s from
AA, NA or Al-Anon,
and always from God). If I’m not in
active, sober/sane recovery, I can’t do an amend. I have to
stop, go back to Step 1 and get that solid, then come back
around to Steps 8 and 9. And most important in all this,
I don’t want to have to face people until I’ve regained my
own self respect by doing Steps 4 and 5, and gotten the full,
unrestricted help of my Higher Power thru Steps 6 and 7. I
need back-up, and I want the best before I face the hurt,
anger, and hardest of all, the love and forgiveness, of others.
But with that back-up, I can face anything, and anyone.
And with a life-slate now as clean as it can be, I’m finally
ready to get busy with my maintenance Steps 10 and 12.
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