Friends In Substance Abuse Treatment Answered
Question 1: I have a family member who has been to treatment
three times. How do I NOT give up hope for
You may have heard all of this before, but, I believe in my
heart of hearts it to be true; First: If you have not reached
ALANON for support,
please consider it. You must
take care of yourself during this time of challenge. Second:
Your family member must be ready willing & open to
embrace sobriety, and the program. Third: Hope, faith,
prayer & action is what will get you & your family member
through this. May God bless you & your family.
First of all you need to pray for that person. Next you need
to realize there is nothing you can do to keep them
sober. We are powerless over people, places and things.
Until they are ready to to make the decision of being sick
and tired and hit bottom, there is nothing you can do for
them. God gives us a choice and until we are ready
to surrender, we must suffer this disease which is cunning,
baffling and powerful!
I was in
substance abuse treatment
my 3rd time last November and I am
coming up on my 1 year of sobriety. For me, the first
substance abuse treatment was because I was in trouble with the law. My
second treatment was for my daughter and because I was
homeless. This last treatment was for me. I was so full of
shame and guilt, I could not stand to look at myself. Keep
the hope that your loved one will get it this time. Most
people do not get it the first time. Let them know you will
stand by them through RECOVERY and not addiction.
Do not in any way enable their addiction! Do support
them in the recovery process. I give all the credit to my
continued recovery to God, AA and working the steps with
my sponsor. May God bless you and your loved one through
and the substance abuse treatment process.
When I was a patient at
I remember 4 guys who simply did not think they would stay sober...and they
didn’t. This type of person has more digging to do before
they hit rock bottom and the best thing in my opinion
a family member can do is pray their bottom is not too
substance abuse treatment center like
will not cure an
addict or an alcoholic. Simply put, Valley Hope and centers
like it get people pushed in the right direction. It’s up to
that individual to find an
AA or NA family
(notice I did not use the word group). I’ve seen people who have been in
treatment 5 or 6 times. They simply do not get it. They
have not embraced the path of AA / NA, and unless they
immerse themselves in the program, death will unfortunately
I know it may be hard, I have had family members and
friends in the program that have been numerous times. It
may just take time for them to be ready to give up on their
personal problem. Once they get to what we addicts call
rock bottom, they will realize they are more powerful than
~ John S
This is hard to write without sounding cold. I have heard
many times over the years “family can’t fix family.” I have
experienced this in my family. That leaves you an option
that has been working for years. Al-anon is a very good
program to help you live with it. My wife continues to go
even though I have several years of sobriety. There are folks
there that can help you live your life happy and with sanity.
I’ve known people to get sober after a lot of tries at it. Just
pray and go to a lot of Al-anon meetings. You will be okay!
This is all about faith and support for me. I was in and
out of substance abuse treatments and half way houses for a couple of years.
Sounds like theres a desire for something differant, just takes
time to find the willingness to be absolute about staying
clean & sober. Treatment was a place to get stable for a
minute and was only a start in the process. The work and
acceptance started for me when I hit the streets, and stuck
with the 12 steps. My sister kept believing in me until the
desire to stop was greater than the desire to use. It is a keep
coming back thing for me and once the seed was planted
in me I started to see things differantly and faith started
to overtake fear. Best wishes.
In many years of attending Al-Anon, the best advice I
received was to concentrate on my own substance abuse treatment program
and pray for those I love who still had not gotten into
You cannot ever give up hope. You need to realize you have
no control over the disease. The story I have heard from
another individual in recovery that helps me is every time
he walks into a meeting he will tap an empty chair and ask
God to fill it with the person he knows is still suffering. I do
this and still have hope for the person I am praying for.
Question 2: What is stressful for you around the holidays?
How do you handle holiday stress?
Family peace is always my stress factor-we tend to gather
in large family groups, trying to accomodate each and
everyones schedules and then for some ridiculous reason
think that everything will go seemingly perfect-it does not,
it won’t -get over it!
The best I can do is go and participate with the best
attitude for myself and my own family-we will have fun
regardless of what situation may arise and the knowledge
that this day is just one day here or there each year.
Reflect on your own holiday memories from childhood.
Carry out some tradition each year from your own past to
keep yourself grounded in the hustle bustle. .
Most importantly, get caught up in the spirit of believing
along with the little ones-I just extend my belief to a
continued brighter future and the new year ahead of me!
Each person responds so differently and I know Holidays
are a terribly depressing time for those who have no one
close-I just thank my lucky stars each year I have my own
family and late life blessing of an 8 year old son to share
mine with. Peace.
The holiday’s can be very stressful if you let them. I have a
husband that drinks, even though I have been sober and in
the program of Alcoholics Anonymous for 7 yrs, it is still
very hard for me if I don’t use my tools. I have to stay close
to the women in the substance abuse treatment program, I go to more meetings, I stay
in daily contact with my sponsor, who knows me very well
and can tell when I start to get a little off balance. I am very
involved in service work and work with newcomers. Around
the holidays there always seems to be more newcomer’s
coming into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Also, if I
am in daily contact with my Higher Power, I let him take
care of me today!
For me the stress of the Holidays comes from lack of Family,
I miss them more than ever around the Holidays. Most
have died, some are too drunk to be around, and some don’t
want me around because of my past drunken behavior.
Meetings, Meetings, Meetings....that’s how I will survive
For starters, just being in a meeting puts me among those
who understand me, so I don’t feel alone. Then I will
hear stories of all kinds of families, crazy families who do
crazy things, and be grateful for my own. I will hear about
the newcomer going home for his first Christmas sober and
be a witness to how this program works. I will be available
in a meeting for someone, who like me, doesn’t have family
and needs to share that grief. I will open my home to anyone
sober who needs a safe place to get away. I will claim my
seat in every meeting possible, so that I may share of my
Experience, Strength and Hope. The more I give, the more
I receive. I want everything I can get, so I have to give
everything I have. It worked good last year. This will be my
second sober Christmas!
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